Sunday, December 04, 2005

A Mooch-less Lions


Why am I a Lions fan? It can't be just cause I used to live in Michigan... Or that my family is made up of Lions fans... I don't think it has anything to do with what some fascination with underdogs...

I must like losers.

Well in football. But that same could apply when viewing my liking the Pittsburgh Penguins in hockey. Just baffling. Almost as baffling as the record that Lions have had over the last few years. Or since Ford has owned them.

The release of Mariucci will not fix the Lions. In fact I predict that next year, the Lions will be worse because of it. The fact that strikes me funny is that 9 players (out of 53) make up 45% of the salary. With 9 star players, we should be able to at least make 50/50. Unless ... gasp ... they aren't star players.

Harrington. Sorry dude, but I didn't want you when we drafted you. I wanted them to draft Quentin Jammer or Roy Williams (the one that hits hard for the Cowboys). You just don't have it for the west coast offense (more to come on that one later). You don't have the ability to work your team up. I watch a lot of other younger quarterbacks who are always talking to other players on the team even when they are having troubles. You just sit by yourself on the bench. Where is the fire man.

Charlie Rogers. Amazing talent in college. Turns out to make questionable life choices questionable character. I was happy that you were selected in the draft. But I wouldn't have drafted you. Look at the agent you picked. That to me tells something of your interests in football. Money. Not winning.

Roy Williams. No complaints. Keep on trucking.

Mike Williams. So we drafted you for your possession receiver ability, but you drop 4 balls a game. But you are still young. Work on your hands, man.

Kevin Jones. Dude you could be amazing, but you may want to take a lesson from a bigger man by the name of Bettis. You can't run head first ball like you did in college. Use some moves. Any moves.

Mr. West Coast Offense. This offense should be outlawed. It works in some talent pools, but that is fairly rare. So whatever you want to change it to Pittsburgh, that should be fine. Just a thought.


Anonymous said...

Lions fans know what's wrong with the team, why can't the organization figure it out?

My gripes, in decending order of importance:
1.) Why does Matt Millen still have a job? Why? Seriously. He has proven himself, time and time again as one of the most disasterous general managers in sports history. Why is he still working?
2.) West Coast Offense (TM): I'm so glad the Lions decided to adopt this boring and predictable offence right as every other team was abandoning it because defensive coordinators had figured out how to stop it. Gods!
3.) The Lions QB: Shall I list them for the past 10 years? No, it's too painfull. Joey, you have these things attached to your hips that are called legs. The can be used to move your ENTIRE BODY... not just three steps, or four, but many many steps... even FORWARD, toward your goal... makes defenses easier to play against if they fear a mobile QB. No? Fine. Enjoy backing up Kurt Warner in Arizona, that's where you'll be next season. The Lions will go find another loser to replace you.
4.) Mooch: Was he to blame for the Lions abject failures? Partially. Firing him mid-season proves conclusivly that the oragnization knows nothing about how to run a team. Will I miss him? I don't know. In SF he had a reputation for getting great OL play from who-dat gentlemen. In Detroit he got consistently shitty OL play and could never score. Bring in the next loser.

My proposed solution for the Lions: pick a city that we don't like, give them our team, laugh at their misfortune. Aaron should host nominations. How about Paris? The "Pyongyang Lions" has some appeal.


Reverend0 said...

Since most times when a team moves, they have ot change the name as well, I vote for: Mexico City Muff Divers.

Reverend0 said...

Just a snap shot:

Minnesota Comp Att Yds Pct Y/A Sack YdsL TD Int
B. Johnson 16 21 242 76.2 11.5 2 14 2 0
Detroit Comp Att Yds Pct Y/A Sack YdsL TD Int
J. Garcia 13 29 91 44.8 3.1 1 8 0 0

Ish said...

I was a supporter of Charlie Rogers right up until the suspension and I now have the zeal of a convert. Trade him now.

Mooch sucked. I was excited about him coming here too, and thought he would do a good job. But if you look at it, he hasn't delivered. His playcalling has been ridiculously predictable (even for the already predictable W.C.O. (TM)) and he hasn't gotten the performance that we needed. I don't really see what the point of keeping him is when its obvious he's gone at the end of the season. So I don't think its a bad move to get rid of him now. Give him a chance to find a new job, and the Lions a chance to find a new coach before they're all hired. I hear Dom Capers may be available :)

The team is cursed, this much is certain. Bring on Bellichik, we can ruin his record, too. And my Eagles are awful too, so this years a wash.

(They deserve it, as they seriously bungled the TO situation. Not that their current injury picture would make that much differnce with TO added. But if you bring TO to your team you should damn well know what to expect by now: Incredible game-breaking play week-after-week on the field, and disrupting egotistical talk week-after-week off the field. If you can't accept that, don't hire him. For my part, I'd do what I could to keep him happy, as he's definitely one of the top 5 players in the league. Its just shitty to not allow him to play or talk to other teams, and I agree its a labor violation. So maybe Andy Reid will be available for the Lions, too.)

Anyway, I've already spent more time than I have, just wanted to chip in and say hey to the fellas. Have to call and catch up sometime, but I'll have to have time when its not 4AM.

Ish said...

Yeah, and Millen should have been fired two years ago. Everyone keeps talking about how great his drafts have been, but the real grade for a draft is measured in wins and losses, not in Mel Kiper, Jr. report cards. And by that measure, the drafts are a D-

Dustin said...

Being a Lions fan is painful!
There are many reasons the Lions suck.
I disagree w/you about Kevin Jones. I don't think he hits the holes hard enough. Most of the time he hits a pile running backwards. Then again, how come he doesn't get any carries?
Why oh why is Garcia starting? Let's evaluate the young palyers like Millen said and put in Orlovsky. Could we do any worse? Would it matter if we did?
What is it about a Lions uniform that makes it so hard to catch a football?

Reverend0 said...

I have heard that the Lions' uniform has a special weave for repelling the football. I heard it was originally used to repel users but didn't quite work.